Someone Special..

something really special happened recently and i haven't actually put it up here. i don't know if it is a good thing or a bad thing; from the eyes of the public, it is horrendous; in my eyes, it is beautiful; i hope it is the same from 'another' perspective. i find myself doing the most awkward things. is it a case of 'you-need-to-be-different-from-other-people' syndrome? or is it a case of 'abnormality' within my psychological self? you know how it is about the 'self' that it constantly seeks to be different from other people, yet still strives to maintain a form of homogeneity so as not to be 'weird' or too 'unique' that it disturbs 'standards' or 'norms' ever so prevalent in society? anyway, back to my main point. lol. i just wish to express my thanksgiving here because i haven't had the chance to before Christmas, Christmas Eve, and New Year's Eve itself. although i did say a little prayer in my heart, i need to have like a proper physical outward expression of the gratitude that i have for God and his blessings upon me. although i'm going through a really weird situation (i'm always going through weird situations.. =p), at least i think i'm being put through a trial where i will have a great reward awaiting me at the end of it all (i hope!). i don't know how this will end, but the ending is not what i'm looking at. it really doesn't matter what ending, but of course if it is in my favour, i'll grab it! lol. anyway, giving something to hold on to for life is more important than anything else and i hope to be able to give someone a little bit of my life. life-giving. something i learnt from someone else. it is quite something to be able to give life. i do hope down the road, this person will remember me for this, if i'm not around. if we are by each other's side, i hope she won't live to regret it. 'nuff said. i need to zen out. lol.

p.s. i love you.