Glance

i feel that i'm experiencing lots of changes inside me. i'm scared because i do not know if these changes are for good or bad. i'm a spontaneous person but i'm feeling uncomfortable about this.. what is this that i'm experiencing? i'm having lots of mixed feelings now. sigh..

i've been thinking a lot about her. praying very hard for her. three times a day. every time while saying Grace. i prayed for God to give her comfort, guidance and most of all, strength, to go through this trying period. she really needs it. i feel that i owe it to her. and i don't know how the hell i'm going to make it up to her. i didn't mean it to happen. who does?

it's been 7 months and 2 days, or 216 days to be exact since my last post. wow.. how time flies. i don't know why. right now so many thoughts are racing through my mind. what's her point in mentioning swimming? i knew she would take it hard. does it mean i can't move on with my life? i have to stay put with her till she moves on and then i'm allowed to move on? yes, i owe you. but i don't owe you my right to my own life. i can only say it here.

i hope this stays forever.. all's mambo that ends well..